Archive for the ‘love junkie’ Category

“You’re not a hippie, you just live life with your heart…”

Timing is everything.  And I am the sum of my parts and the product of every single second that has brought me to this very minute.  Four years ago I had no idea what Burning Man even was.  I landed on the scene in the Bay Area from the Midwest ready for a big change and taking a huge, brave leap to punk the Universe into giving me what I wanted: a fresh start in a new place where I felt alive and authentic.  Ahhhh…this DOES sound like hippie talk!

My life of homemaker and school teacher seems like a million years ago but how lucky are we that we can completely change gears, shift focus, drop everything…and trade it all in for something new if we want to?  Pretty damn lucky!

Today, with 41 years on the planet, I am the happiest I have ever been and the most comfortable in my skin.  Anyone who knows me, knows I am a lover – of bubbles and cupcakes and pickles and burgers and old-school tacos and fashion and dogs…of family and friends…books, movies that make me cry, romance, LITTLE THINGS…and the list goes on and on… So, it should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone who knows me that this year, I’m going to Burning Man.

I joked with my dear friend Kate this week that I am officially a “hippie,” a part of me that I have related to for a very long time and something that fills more and more of my skin with each year.  She quickly replied that I’m not a hippie, that I “live life with my heart.”  This simple thought stopped me in my tracks.  It’s true without question.  Who else would have a blog of things they love called “love. lust. butterflies.?”

I live with my heart.  As dangerous and careless as this is sometimes I remind my head that “love rewards the brave” when it tries to get in the way.  Why? Because at the end of my days I want to know that I loved as much as I possibly could, with no regret or worry that I didn’t love enough.

I don’t have the words to express how excited I am to be experiencing Burning Man this year!  To be unplugged, in remote silence, surrounded by love and freedom of expression.  I know it will be a life-changing experience and I am giddy beyond belief that I am experiencing it NOW in THIS skin, happiest in all my days and so full of love.

I’ve created a Playa Love facebook page so that I can share this experience with my friends and family in distant places.  It’s a virtual Burning Man for all of my non-burner peeps.  Please check it out and if you feel compelled, please leave your love mark on my page – after all, you get what you put out, in spades!

Wishing you lots and lots of LOVE, lust & butterflies for all of your days!

(Photo Credit to Josh Adler and beautiful LOVE sculpture by Laura Kimpton)


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“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”Herman Hesse

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It’s a small world – a really small world.  Many moons ago I was having a quick party planning chat with a new friend of mine in the city and I mentioned that I was offering my “Day-Of” wedding planning services to one gay couple each year pro bono as my way of supporting the No H8 Campaign.  He perked up and said he knew the perfect couple for me.

A few days later I received Jon and Christian’s application and I fell instantly in-love with them and their plan for a four-day, fancy pants Lake County showcase of food and wine which would culminate in a Black tie ceremony and reception at Ceago Vinegarden.  After telling them that I really wanted to be part of their special day we exchanged many initial emails and had a quick Skype meeting to plan our first day together and then we realized the serendipity of our new connection.  Jon and I went to Indiana University at the same time and he and I partied in the same fraternity house while we were there.  He recognized me and I remembered him – it was Kismet for sure and we all felt so good about the connection.

Jon and Christian are the type of couple that radiate happiness and love.  So much that I feel intoxicated when I’m with them.

We have spent many months together now, planning a four-day celebration of this love which they will share with their dear friends and family.  The festivities, a wedding planner’s dream, begin with a meet and greet, a golf scramble and a wine tour – all showcasing the best Lake County has to offer.  This will be followed by a winery estate dinner at Laujor Estate Winery  and a Black tie ceremony and reception on the beautiful lavender covered grounds of Ceago.

I’m packing up, checking my lists twice and soooo looking forward to spending the end of this week and weekend with Jon, Christian and their friends and family celebrating their big love for each other.  And, I’m feeling incredibly proud of the part I am playing to help them with their special day!

To learn more about how you and your partner can apply for my 2013 Pro Bono Wedding please contact me at pat@patbaileyweddingmuse.com!

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I’ve never met a cupcake I didn’t like.  Honestly my cupcake infatuation began just recently when I discovered Kara’s in the city.  Well, “recently” as in the last few years.  I have a history of having a sweet tooth and of being a junk food junkie.  I wasn’t allowed much as a kid so now that I’m an adult I’m making up for lost time.

I’m also a creature of habit.  I know what I like and I eat it.  For me it’s Kara’s Sweet Vanilla Cupcake.  Cupcake perfection is: an old-school sweet vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream piled twice as high and a dusting of matching white sprinkles.  I eat these, and order them so much that they’ve sort of become my trademark.  I’m drooling right now as I write this.

It was really no surprise to my “cupcake posse” that I offered to bring Kara’s for a dear friend’s birthday party this week.  And, I had a plan…which included, of course, lots of Sweet Vanilla.  My man on the other hand had a different idea, he suggested that we have a baking competition and create the birthday cupcakes ourselves this time.  Yes, I swear, it was all HIS idea – and, I LOVE THIS.

So, we had a bake-off, our very own “Cupcake Wars” right in my dinky kitchen in the Lito.  His: a very summertime, light and moist key lime cake with a drizzle of key lime glaze and a topping of key lime cream cheese frosting and candied key limes.  Yes, I swear, he came up with this cupcake idea all on his own.  Mine: a triple chocolate fudge cake, filled with ooey gooey caramel and topped with chocolate fudge buttercream and crushed caramel candy bar.  Why no sweet vanilla you ask?  I was not about to mess with perfection, AND this was a competition.  Chocolate ALWAYS wins!I can’t remember the last time I baked a cupcake, it’s been a long, long time.  And, I’ve never baked a cupcake with a filling before so I was pretty pleased with my ambition to try something new and inspired by the constant Food Network-ing we do.  I grabbed some really yummy Narsai’s Butter Caramel which I used to fill the cakes after scooping out their little insides.  (I used a strawberry destemmer for this job and it was the perfect tool.)

I iced each newly filled baby cake with the most decadent chocolate fudge buttercream frosting I have EVER tasted.  It was so good that I licked the mixer whisks until there wasn’t a spec of goodness left, AND I put my entire face in the bowl after most of it was used up – and my face would still be in the bowl if I had my way.  I don’t have the words to describe how good this icing is.

We had two very different, but very yummy cakes for the party and my favorite part (of course) was the baking together part.  I want to say that there was a clear winner in the challenge but our friends had as tough of a time deciding as we did when we tasted each other’s entries.  Sweet and summery versus chocolate “sinfulness” as the birthday girl called them.  I think Kara would have approved of our substitutions.

Because I believe in sharing the love…

PB’s So-Good-You-Wanna-Put-Your-Face-In-It Chocolate Fudge Buttercream Frosting

1/2 Cup Butter
3 (1 ounce) Squares of Unsweetened Chocolate
1 Pound of Confectioners’ Sugar
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
3/4 Cups of Milk

Melt chocolate and butter in the microwave or double boiler. In a large bowl, combine confectioners’ sugar, vanilla and 1/2 cup of milk.  Blend in the melted chocolate mixture. Add remaining milk, a little at a time, until desired consistency.  Let stand until spreadable, frosting will thicken as it cools.  It’s that easy!

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(POST DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post back in February, shortly after starting this blog, and it’s been in my “Draft” folder ever since.  At the time I thought I wanted my blog to focus on love – I quickly changed my mind and made it about all of the things I love, including love.  My dear friend Mo recently shared the Seuss image below with me and it reminded me of this post with the same image in it.  This draft also popped into my head at the wedding I posted about last week (read it here); the concept of finding a matching crazy was mentioned in their beautiful ceremony.  I’m posting it today (with only a few edits) in my “Love Junkie” category, it’s a little out-dated so forgive me for that but you get the idea.)

It’s true, we are all a little “weird.”  My good friend MC says she doesn’t trust anyone who’s not a little crazy…I’m with her!  The trick is to find someone whose crazy matches yours.  I’ve spent a lot of time in the past overlooking crazies that didn’t match mine, trying to make them work and failing with heartbreak.  I’m a girl who loves to be welcomed home from a business trip with a “tuck-in” and a bag of burgers…

I’m finding that the older I get the more set in my ways I become.  The crazy parts take hold and don’t let go.  I’m a planner and very social.  I love pizza, tacos, hotdogs and most junk food.  I want another dog someday, one that I can put into my purse and take with me everywhere I go.  I’m obsessed with Rachel Zoe and gauk adoringly at beautiful women when I see them. I take way too many photos and spend a scary amount of time on facebook.  I’m the queen of procrastination, a horrible money manager and flaky if there’s a flea market close by.  I feel guilty if I don’t ride my bike at least three or four times a week yet I can happily, and with very little guilt, eat an entire package of Double Stuff Oreos dipped in milk.  I sometimes project my thoughts and feelings for how the world should be without realizing it, and not intending to tell anyone how they should live.  I love John Mayer and would do anything to be Jonathan Adler’s personal assistant.  I believe in the Law of Attraction and thank the Universe regularly.  I eat, sleep and dream about weddings, fashion, and art and I read gobs of magazines on all subjects…from back to front.

There is no “cookie cutter” crazy.  We are all crazy (or weird) in our own way.  The challenge is to find another crazy person that you can celebrate for who they are and the crazies between the two of you sort of cancel each other out.  One thing’s for sure, I recently found myself welcomed home with a jar of Wickles tied perfectly with a mossy green ribbon and waiting for me at my door…I’ve found a crazy that matches mine perfectly!

Wishing you lots of love, lust & butterflies,


(I’m dedicating this post today to my partner in crime who loves me just the way I am…crazy in all the right ways!)

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I can’t remember the last time I read a Calvin and Hobbes comic but we all know them well so when Julia’s two younger sons recited the comic strip above as part of her wedding ceremony a few weekends ago, we all melted.  The ceremony was a beautiful blending of two families, Julia’s three sons and Marco’s two daughters – and each cutie had a meaningful part to play in the ceremony as they told the story of love from initial attraction to deep, soul mate companionship.

Marco and Julia are the type of couple that gush…their love overflows and spills out all over everyone they encounter.  It’s contagious, it makes you giddy…and hopeful.  There were a lot of sniffles at the ceremony, held on top of Mt. Tam at the Ralston White Retreat where the lawn, very fittingly, was heart-shaped.  The air was thick with love and I reveled in every single moment of it.

It’s no secret that I love weddings but my all-time favorite weddings are the kind that are so authentic that you get carried away with the story of the couple’s love and you never want to come back down to earth.  We were all transported into Marco and Julia’s world on top of Tam on May 27th, a world of big love.

CONGRATULATIONS…and lots and lots of love, lust & butterflies for a long time to come to one of the sexiest couples I know!

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I feel like it’s time for a “Love Junkie” post.

Last year I stumbled upon a great book written by Arielle Ford called “The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction.”  I was intrigued by it for a number of reasons; at the time I was doing a good bit of reading about love and relationships, and I was also curious about the tie-in to the Law of Attraction which I apply to other areas of my life.  In simple terms the Law of Attraction is “the attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together. It manifests through the power of creation, everywhere and in multiple ways. Even the law of gravity is part of the law of attraction. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations and circumstances.” It’s the idea that like attracts like, or as I like to think, the “science” of all the intangible stuff that I think is super important in life.

For a long time my mantra has been “Think. Say. Do.”  I have it on my Road ID, posted on my wall in my apartment, on my nightstand in my bedroom…it’s a reminder to me to keep these things in balance – and even more so, that they are all connected and dependent on the other for whatever outcome is desired.

As an athlete I find applying the “Think. Say. Do” mantra relatively easy.  I actually carefully visualize each race in my head the night before, racing safely, and fast and happy with a positive outcome.  I say it to myself when I’m on a tough climb, sort of as a pep talk.  I work on applying this mantra in my professional life.  Visualizing the life that I want, counting my blessings and moving through it with positive energy.

So, this brings me to LOVE.  It makes sense that we should be able to apply this “science” to love too, right?

This is where Arielle Ford comes in, she is writing some really great advice for not only finding your “soulmate” but also keeping it fresh and alive.  Her new book called Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships talks about maintaining the soulmate relationship after you’ve connected.  I’ll post about this later.

For now, I wanted to share Arielle’s list of 10 Steps to Big Love – How to Manifest Your Soulmate:

1.  Create personalized rituals.

2.  Believe Your Soulmate is out there.

3.  Be the loving person that you are.

4.  Live Soulmate Truth Every Day.

5.  Map out your desires.

6.  Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.

7.  Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).

8.  Create an alter in the relationship corner of your home.

9.  Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.

10.  Fall in love with yourself.  Know that you are loveable.

“The universal Law of Attraction states that we draw to us those people, events, and circumstances that match our inner state of being. In other words, we attract experiences that are consistent with our beliefs. If we believe that there is plenty of love in the world and we are worthy of giving and receiving that love, we will attract a different quality of relationships than someone who believes in scarcity or feels unworthy of happiness. If we believe the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experience. If we believe the world is a chaotic, stressful, and fearful place, then eventually that will become our reality. So, believing and knowing that your soulmate is out there is a critical first step in the formula for manifesting him or her into your life.”  – Arielle Ford

There you have it.  I’ve shared a little secret with you.  Like attracts like.  Think. Say. Do.  The Universe answers or matches with in-kind energy what you put out, it has no other option but to do this.  Put love out, lots of it…and just see what comes back in spades.

Wishing you lots of love, lust and butterflies,


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